i've been brought back to reality

today and yesterday have, admittedly not been the most enjoyable days of late. i'm worried that Joshua no longer wants to talk to me and although it's possibly paranoia, i still miss talking to him seeing as he's supposed to be one of my closest friends.. yesterday i got uber moochy actually, partly because of the whole Joshua fandango, and partly because Cameron McD-B got hung up on his mental image of himself and it made me sad to see him sad and to see him almost abuse himself :\t'was bad stuff to be frank.

today has been slightly better though, although Jodie bailed on me when we were supposed to be going out, and for the majority of the day i found myself doing big bog all. partly because my mom had gone out and i was tempted to loll in bed all day. lately i've been having alot of headaches and it brings me down a tad. to be honest the only reason i got up and actually did something was because i felt bad that mom was going to come back to me lying in bed, talking to some fool on msn.
so i eventually brought myself to sort out parts of my room and clear it up, and, in the absence of a workable vacuum, i ended up brushing my floor. just gets all the fluff and hair up. that sounds disgusting but i do have alot of very long hair, plus my dogs randomly amble upstairs and into my room half the time -.-

wowww.. there was a cute fly sitting on my knuckle just now ^.^ it was kinda sweet.. usually flies just irritate the hell out of me, as they appear to have no sense of direction, no spacial awareness, and all the observational skills of a brick.

but yesss, finally done something constructive this week other than sit around biting my nails wondering if my best friends actually still want to know me or attempting to start a book. yep, i'm sixteen and trying to write a book. it sounds a tad daft, but i really do adore writing, and most people seem to enjoy my obscure blogs, so surely a book is the next step ?

good news with my new piercing though :} finally told my mom and showed her. she thinks it looks good actually which is always a good thing, and that the only thing she was worried about was me not looking after it probably. i love my darling mommy, she's awesome on toast is she :D and then she's happy with my ideas for room redecoration, and she doesn't mind me bumbling about London searching for starbucks, although i doubt i'll have to search much xD

wayyy, i should really have listened to my ipod more yesterday and today, it's more likely to make me smile or at least think vaguely positive (: oh dear, i've started talking about Hitler and his missing left testicle to Cameron A.. he does make me giggle a tad

tatty bye for t'niiiight

x