it's not always the massive events, or the things most looked forward to that make you smile. it's not the complications or the most decorative things that makes me happy. it's the small things, the tiny, insignificant detail, the lyrics of a song, the joy you get from enjoying a gorgeous day.
it's the sweet texts i get from my best friends, the way my dogs bound through the long grass in my field after it's rained and come and jump up at me with tails wagging, it's the simple lyrics that sound from the most delicate songs, it's the events of a day with a close friend, or a picnic in summer and the photographs that make us giggle. it's the way i laugh at myself after doing something daft, it's the fact that i know who is there for me when i'm down, the way a flame delicately licks at the air, the soft heartbeat of a boy when i'm leaning on his chest, it's the satisfaction of clearing my room and seeing the carpet after several years of being covered.
it's all the small things that make me smile, and yet i don't often think about it. i only really started thinking about it when i was talking to Courtney about how she keeps texts from her boyfriend that she can't help but keep, that and when i saw my dogs similtaneously licking the kitchen floor, i realised how much i love the adorable maniacs. it's odd how i expect occassions as birthdays and christmas to be immensely enjoyable, yet inevitable, something happens to bring it down and i end up dissappointed. yet meeting up with a group of friends and going for a picnic going down the picnic exceeds my expectations and i still smile when i look at the photos.
i'm feeling pensive and deep today, well, i am right now, earlier i was more concerened about getting coffee into my system, how shallow. in fact i feel a tad sad that Joshua hasn't text me back to be truthful. i mean he's probably busy or with some friends or whatever, but i do miss the geek when he doesn't reply. and when he's down i hate it, i mean i hate it when any of my friends are down or upset or have been hurt, but with Joshua, he's such a lesbo it's impossible not to want to hug him and sit him down with popcorn and scrubs. with other friends, coffee or jelly beans are usually the answer. that and an uber long conversation about whatever, generally with Daisy we opt for brothel plans or relationships and our lack of. failing that it turns into plans for Camden :D
Royworld - Put on your brakes.
in fact now i'm not sure what to ask my mom for for my GCSE results. i'm still not sure if she wants to put some money towards an object of my choice or give me money, certain amounts for certain grades. and if that's the case, it means i'll have to draw up a price list.. hmmm. and if she wants to get me something, i'm deliberating between a bike or a decent camera. or a blackberry... that's an idea actually. but a camera would be awesome for all the memory snapshots. but a blackberry for the reason that my current phone is utter shite to put it plainly. i will never buy an LG ever again, hell will freeze over before i do. a bike would only be useful for excercise use, and i can always go running like a freak around the town. hmm.
ohh, and i've just remembered my grandypops has also decided to ploy me with the promise of money for my results, maybe i should name my price for that as well.. and he has a bet on. the bet being that i will do better than my brother has at GCSE. i think it's dispicable how family members try and make siblings majorly competative for the sake of a few quid. although it's evident i'm going to beat my brother. i'm a girl for a start !
so today i have had a very creative day :D found my oyster card after being a drip and ripping my room apart, i can't even remember what blog i put all that in to be frank, but bleh :D then i ripped my nails when i was cleaning some candle holder things, but they look good now, so i'm going to have no need for electric lights when all my candles are blazing. annddd i've been talking to Helen which is actually nice, seeing as the tart isn't going to 6th form ):
i'm surprised i'm still feeling all deep and meaningful.. it doesn't always last this long to be utterly frank. i think it has something to do with the fact i'm listening to the Royworld album, which i have to thank Cameron for introducing me to and sending me this complicated link thing to get it. and yes, it is my new obsession. Royworld that is, not Cameron.. he's lovely.. ish. but just not the same. he can't bring me the same joy that the music does. but maybe that's a good thing. if he was a song it would get annoying trying to talk to him.. he'd have to have a backing tune or a few musicions with him all the time. tad distracting..
anyway, i'm going to stop rattling on now (: i've kinda gone on a bit and about random stuff.. started out making sense and now even i'm confused. HA !